Dig In, Be Patient, Persevere

The bag of unmatched socks

Walking back to the laundry area at New Life an old set of bathroom mats lay limp over the bench with a brush laying on one and a Tupperware, with scraps looking like bits of oatmeal, sat on the ground below. “The boys,” she said in a kind voice, “can do this,” as she pointed at the mats. “Pick off as much of the peeling rubber as you can.” The next time we volunteered, the laundry worker led us to a corner of the work room where she preceded to dump out a third of a four foot tall sack filled with stray infant and toddler socks. “Please find as many matches as you can.”

My boys are being reminded of an important truth: work is not always fun or rewarding. Sometimes it’s picking little pieces of rubber off the back of a mat. It’s sorting through hundreds of socks, in a cramped corner on the floor, to find just 25 pairs. It’s not what we would choose or how we would do it if we were in charge. Our backs start to hurt, we get bored, and honestly a part of us wonders if it’s really worth it or making much difference at all. Part of me wanted to just offer to buy a new rug, who wants this anyway in a bathroom with potty training toddlers?

Thank you, New Life, for this real life illustration of submission and service. We are raising our boys in a time and culture of quick replacements, a search for personal fulfillment and “fit”, and a pull on our time from every direction.

Then my sweet son reminded me, “Mom, maybe it’s for the guest bathroom”. Straight from the mouth of the teenager who sat at Joel’s side picking little pieces of rubber off the back of a bathroom mat. Did they love the job, no. Was it tedious and at times uncomfortable, yes. Yet for nearly two hours they diligently brushed and picked at the semi-flaky, disintegrating rubber, all the while without an utterance of complaint.

“Make an impact, use your gifts, make the most of your time,” all ring in our ears. I’m not saying these things are in and of themselves wrong, but do we need to turn up the volume on an alternate message? “Dig in, be patient, persevere”. Instead of always measuring success by how we use our gifts, what if we gave the gift of submission to what’s been asked or required, the gift of hard work to an unfulfilling task, and the gift of choosing to see the benefit of the work. So much of what society seems to be needing right now isn’t a specific gift, it’s a

~Hand

~Decision
~Time
~Willingness

Similarly during times of “rubber picking” in our lives, the opportunity for transformation ignites. A life-long foundation can be laid within us as well. It is a silent and sometimes painful growth. Will I serve myself or others? Will it be my way or will I open my mind and heart to others? A foundation and pattern of self- sacrifice is being laid that will have its reach into one’s marriage, parenthood, work, and community. I’m not saying we never pursue and nurture that which is life-giving and expressive of how we were created. The routines of infant care don’t last forever, yet in the midst of it don’t discount the value of the seemingly mundane.
Dig in boys, there will be times and most likely seasons in your life when you feel like day after day, you are picking rubber. Times when you are looking for matches and those you find, pale in comparison to what is left undone. I pray this is not all of life for you, but when it is, hold fast knowing it is not a waste.

I’m reminded of the relentless cycle of feeding, changing, cooking, bathing and cleaning that fills so much time while caring for infants. It can be tedious and mundane. Yet, just at a time when it looks most monotonous from the outside, the greatest growth in brain development is occurring in the baby and a life-long bond and a foundation of security is forming. As a parent you choose to focus, not on the messes cleaned up, but on the way you catch the eye of the little one you love and the smile that beams when it is you who picks him up from a sleep.

Is the illustrative work of sorting through hundreds of socks, to only see most of them returned to the bag, the work we would choose? Most of us don’t consider that type of work “good”, but I’m wondering if there is a greater good that comes from submitting to it.
It’s the greater good of

~resources preserved

~a deepening trust gained as we persevere without knowing the final outcome ~a break from the weight of needing to “be someone” and prove our worth ~encouraging others who are also “searching for matches” in an overwhelming pile ~reminding our heart and mind that we are not at the center of our work or service

New Life didn’t just need us to do that work- our hearts needed to do that work.