Sing Him a Song

It’s his face I still see, his fingers curled tightly around the edge of the crib rail.  Standing in his crib, he’s perfectly centered from my viewpoint in the doorway.  Tears roll down his cheeks, while cries pour from his mouth.


Go pick him up,...wipe his tears, lay his head on your shoulder, rub his back….sing him a song.

Sing him a song you sang hundreds of times to your fuzzy headed boys, one your mom sang to you, passed down through generations and hours upon hours spent in rocking chairs, with tiny fingers curled around a mama’s long one, until little bodies became heavy and sleep overtook them.

But, I couldn’t. No visitors permitted past this point.

Busy workers scrambled around, rotating the children through diaper changes and clean clothes after the messiness of lunchtime.  The floor was crowded with lots of little ones underfoot, clustered together like a mob, some reaching up and out for attention while others were content to take shoes out and in and out and in again from the shoe bin.  All of them anticipated one thing, naptime.  So many needs, yet not enough hands, and with the passing of each minute the tired pleas rose with a greater and greater urgency for sleep.

As I turned my back and walked out of the room that day, a wave of heaviness swept over me.  Leaving them as they expressed their need for comfort brought up within me feelings of helplessness and grief.  Grief for them that they don’t have a mama rocking them to sleep or stroking their chubby cheeks.  No one who gazes into their eyes, communicating without words, the message of safety, love, and belonging, while meeting their deepest needs with a touch and a familiar song from the one who brought them into this world.

Kyle just weeks after he was released
from the hospital

My mind quickly flashed back to the day I walked away from my first born in the NICU in Peru and the difficulty of leaving the hospital without my baby.  Even though it’s been 13 years, I can still see him lying in the incubator, feeling helpless to protect the one I loved so fiercely.

Quietly, but sure, both years ago with my baby and again this day, another voice rose up in my heart.  “He is not alone, I am here, always, he is mine, more precious to me than even a mother’s love can know.  I am singing over him with joy, he doesn’t go to sleep without a song.”

“For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” Zephaniah 3:17
 
God put a song in my heart that day, one based on the scripture above….


Before I spoke a word, You were singing over me
You have been so, so good to me
Before I took a breath, You breathed Your life in me, yes you did
You have been so, so kind to me

Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights 'til I'm found, leaves the ninety-nine
I couldn't earn it, I don't deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
(Reckless Love, by Cory Asbury)

Of course, God longs for restoration, for mamas to hold their babies and for healing from the brokenness from without and within that break this parent- child bond.  He asks us to play a part in this restoration, to sing a song when we can, but He also reminded me that His love isn't diminished or restrained in any way. 

What I couldn’t do, He can.  He is always “permitted to enter” and rejoice over us with a song.

~Sarah

Kibera: Home to 250,000

Kibera.  The largest urban slum in Africa located only a 21 minute drive from Nairobi's City Center.  This slum has 250,000 people living in it, which accounts for about 12.5% of Nairobi’s population.  The history of this over-crowded slum is more interesting than that of most parts of Nairobi, to my consideration.  It goes as follows:

The land Kibera is currently on started developing in 1904 when the British government allocated the land to the Nubians who fought in Britain’s war.  The land was considered valuable since it was close to the city center.  The location was significant because during colonization only Europeans were permitted to live within the city boundaries.  All other native Africans had to live on native reserves outside of the city.  To capitalize on the land that they owned, the Nubians rented out and eventually sold their land to other people, who then settled there. More and more people came there, until it became what we now call Kibera.

Currently, the Kenyan government has claimed ownership of the land in which Kibera sits on.  Funded by the World Bank, the government has launched KENSUP, which stands for Kenyan Slum Upgrading Project.  Their main focus right now is to move the residents of Kibera into concrete apartment buildings at subsidized rates.  These apartment buildings have running water and electricity, which are commodities very few Kibera residents have access to.  However, this plan is not working well, the primary reasons being that the apartments cost more than the shacks that they are used to living in, and that they don’t want to leave their community.

We think that the reason that the Kenyan government is stepping in and attempting to relocate Kibera is because of its location.  Real estate prices in downtown Nairobi have soared, and Kibera is taking up a lot of valuable land.  The issue's complexity grows as the middle class of Nairobi is struggling to pay the rent needed to live in close proximity to the city, so they are attempting to get apartments in the buildings intended for Kibera residents.  They might bribe city officials to give them an apartment, or they might pay the residents directly.  Some residents charge them 3-4 times what they’re paying, so that they can return to Kibera with money in their pocket.  This is a complicated issue, and it is very difficult to deal with.  Researching this has increased my compassion for the many whose struggle is daily and more challenging than I can ever imagine. 

~Kyle Wilson

In or Out

Do I hop in the cab with Kevin and the boys or go on my own to the shopping center and take an Uber back to the apartment alone?  I knew the Uber app was installed on my phone, but...I’d never used it by myself before and I wasn’t confident I could direct myself, let alone anyone else back to our apartment. Several times I pulled the door handle, swinging the door towards me only to start to close it again. Talking out loud the whole time, I expressed all the contradictory statements jumping around in my head about why I should go and then why I should stay.  The very confused Uber driver finally asked Kevin to clarify what was going on.  With the pressure mounting, I decided to stay out, to wave goodbye as I saw my family drive away.

Stalls selling fish on the side of the road

I walked by the stalls along the side of a busy road in the heat of the day where the smell hit me of whole fish boiling in oil and of beans simmering in huge stock pots sitting on homemade stoves fueled by squares of black coal.  Some talked and ate their lunch, while others washed tableware in large plastic tubs on the ground filled with murky water.

A few blocks later, I arrived at the shopping center and after passing through the metal detector, I stepped into a different world of coffee shops displaying artisan bread and fancy cakes, clothing stores, and a small grocery store.  In the grocery store, I weaved my small cart through narrow aisles.  I tried my best to pick things that will fill my hungry family.  Currently, I’m on a “biscuit (cookie) taste test” kick, so I bought three different kinds.  Sadly, the 1st one we determined to be almost like cardboard.  Maybe contestant number 2 will come out ahead.

I requested an Uber, found the pickup spot, and when his map didn’t work, I figured out how to direct him. 

To get in or stay out- to play it safe or move into the unknown and often uncomfortable- this is the choice I need to make over and over on so many levels.  How many times do we stand there opening and closing the “taxi door”, feeling the draw of safety and comfort, but also feel the stirring for what could be experienced or accomplished with courage and risk.

Me?  I want the smells of Nairobi.  Next time, may I have the courage to wave goodbye and close the taxi door.

"Don't get out of the van!"

A safari was something I had only heard about.  Sure, I had seen all the animals on nature shows, but seeing them in the wild for the first time?  That was totally different.

For example, in movies, like The Lion King, the lions and the alligators always look bigger than the animals around them, but still pretty small.  When we saw a lion only 50 feet away, and it turned it's head to look at us, it was giant.  I suppose you have to have a big mouth to eat what they eat.

Also, it was disturbing to see two crocodiles right next to each other on the bank of a lake.  One of them had its mouth open to show all of its many teeth, and it was only 30 feet away from us!  I’m just glad I had the van between me and this reptilian monster.

However, it’s not like we only saw crocodiles and lions, although that was cool.  We actually saw many animals, and here they are below:

• Lion
• Hippopotamus
• Black Rhinoceros
• Plains Zebra
• Warthog
• Masai Giraffe
• Impala
• Oryx
• African Buffalo
• Sykes’ Monkey
• Guinea Fowl
• Secretary Bird
• Vulture-like bird (we don’t know the exact name of this bird)
• Crocodile
• Ostrich
• Fish Eagle
• Antelope
• Artemis
• Kingfisher
• Quail
• Gazelle

We all look forward to future animal sightings!

Greeted by an Army

Arriving at our Airbnb apartment on Thursday night, we felt great relief that our driver spoke Swahili and could explain to the guard who we were.  At 12:30 am we put a call into the landlady and thankfully she answered and confirmed that we were the ones to give the key to.  There are so many little steps of faith one takes when traveling internationally.  So many undergirding systems in place that at first glance are unknown and one just has to trust that, eventually, it will work out, maybe not exactly the way it was pictured, but it will work.

The apartment fits our needs well.  The boys, like puppies, ran around opening every closet and trying every light switch.  As the boys opened and closed the heavy light-blocking shades, we first spotted what would become the target of an on-going battle: an army of little, buzzing insects.  In our jet-lagged, confused state, we found some insect repellent and put it on the boys' faces and necks and then soon after, collapsed into bed.

We slept, and we slept until nearly 10 am, something I don’t think I’ve done since the Saturday mornings of adolescence.  At noon, we decide to wake up Joel and Kyle since all we had in the kitchen to eat was salt, only to find that an army had attacked them in the night.  What was once creamy white skin was now covered in over 100 tiny red dots.

We soon found out from the landlady’s nephew, Alex, that at sunset we need to close up the apartment and spray the rooms with insect repellent.  Huh, first system missed- daily fumigation.  I found some comfort in that we had begun our daily regimen of malaria medication, but the medication did nothing to ease the itchiness of Joel’s knee covered in at least 15 bites, swelling by the day.  Welcome to Kenya, boys.

On Saturday, we decided to go to Nairobi’s Arboretum.  First we needed to clear up the confusion with the Uber driver as to where we wanted to go; it’s amazing how 2 people speaking English can completely not understand one another due to a difference in accents.  Once there, we walked around trees planted over 100 years ago by a group who had a vision and foresight for the future of Nairobi to protect green space within the burgeoning city landscape.

After waking through the forest for about 15 minutes we came across a group of high schoolers, who greeted us warmly.  One of them asked if she could join us for our walk.  As we strolled together, we assured her that most of America is not like the soap operas she idolizes, and that yes, I clean my own house.

As we approached a bamboo outcropping, a group of school children on a field trip joined us to observe the two adult monkeys and one tiny baby monkey moving about in the upper branches.  As I was looking up and taking in the differences between the “New World” monkeys of Latin America and the “Old World” monkeys of Africa, I didn’t realize the “army” that was gathering around me.  This army  surrounded me too and gave me no escape.  When I looked down, little round faces with huge smiles looked up at me with hands extended in a greeting of welcome.  Now this kind of greeting is right up my alley.  I began to shake their hands while they touched my arm, and as I did, more and more came over.  In their beautiful Swahili accented British English, the sing-song quality of “Hello, nice to meet you,” rung in the air.  I looked around, none of my family was in sight.  “Sure,” I responded, to the question of whether I would be in a picture with the school group.  Instead of the traditional, “cheese” that precedes a picture in the U.S. they sing words back and forth to one another.  How much in the hearts of Africans is expressed through a song? A singing, smiling army- now this was a memorable greeting.

Life is filled with unexpected mosquitoes, but also the song of children.
                 

A mini-world: an International Airport

It’s been 19 years since I’ve crossed the Atlantic.  19 years since I’ve felt the disorienting effects of jet lag, made even worse by a somewhat restless 7 year old trying to sleep on my lap in what to our confused bodies was the middle of the afternoon.  19 years since I’ve had a perfect European croissant- both flaky and wonderfully chewy.

The dreary skies of lowland Amsterdam, remind me of my hometown in Western Michigan, where the Dutch, sensing a place of home, settled in droves.  I find it fascinating how the familiar drives a human heart, even when we are in search of something new.

My ears perk once again to the music of new languages.  This “mini-world” of an international airport reminds me of the vastness of our world, the depth of culture, and the beauty of difference. 

Toddler Care 101: Day 1 at New Life Orphanage

Awkward.  That’s how I felt when I walked into the room for babies from 1 to 1 ½ years old.  I had hardly ever helped with babies before, especially when there were eight of them and only 3 actual workers helping.  During my first day helping at New Life Children’s Home, I didn’t know what to do.

When we first walked in the door, we were introduced to Maria, the administrator of this home, one of the 4 locations in the New Life family.  She said that they were celebrating their 25th anniversary, during which they had saved over 2000 babies.  This particular home was the first home they had acquired, and it can house up to 55 babies newborn to three years of age, although right now it only has 35.  Still, 35 babies is a lot of mouths to feed when you’re operating strictly on donations.  It's also a lot of clothes to wash, and we could see that in their laundry area, with three large washing machines and many lines of clothesline strewn around them. (people do not buy dryers in Kenya)

After we took a quick tour of the house, we were shown up to a room with eight babies ranging from 1 to 1 ½.  There were only 3 assistants, so we were a welcome addition.  Right then they were getting their “fruits”, which was pureed orange goop that I wouldn’t have touched if I was starving.  I’m sure the babies liked it though, because they clamored at the person feeding them to give them more.

After they were fed, we played with them.  I don’t know if you’ve played with a baby lately, but they sometimes lose interest in something just a few seconds after they’ve started holding it.  However, other times they will play with something until you have to take it away from them when it’s time to go.  For example, I gave one of them a pink plastic cash register to see what he’d do with it, and he picked it up, dropped it, and did it over and over for the next 10-15 minutes.  Another kid would hold something for three seconds, but then lose interest in it and want something different.  All included, babies have an attention span for only certain things, which, in my opinion, is something we all have in common, from time to time.

The play area is off to the left

Finally, we took the babies outside and they played around there.  Some of them were starting to learn to walk, so they would take pushcarts and push them all around the lawn.  Others were content to swing in a baby swing and look out at what everybody else was doing.  I put two in a plastic wagon and pulled them around in a circle for five minutes, and they were perfectly happy just to sit there, until they weren’t, and they started getting squirmy.  I was amazed at how the regular workers could keep track of everything that was going on when there weren’t five extra sets of hands to help them.

As we were sitting at dinner later that night, all of us kids expressed having felt awkward that day, especially when we were playing with the babies.  However, I feel certain that we will all be very comfortable there before we leave.

-Kyle Wilson and Family

Clearing the Jet Lag Fog

Hello from Nairobi, Kenya!  Thank you to each of you who have texted, called, or prayed for us in the last week.  We so appreciate your care for us during our adjustment to this new place!  We've been asked great questions, so I thought a blog post with an overview of our first few days in Nairobi would be fitting.  Our days have been full and the first few were lived in a fog of jet lag, but the fog is clearing and we are soaking in the sights (and sounds!) of the capital of Kenya!

A brief synopsis:
Wednesday-3:30 am- Denver airport- checking in 9, 50 lb luggage pieces (several were full of donations for the orphanages- thank you!!), and we also had to carry 6 computers and equipment for Kevin’s new Kenyan team members. 

Friday- 
1 am- arrive at our AirBnB apartment after layovers in New York and Amsterdam. 

Slept until 10 am and made our way to a restaurant for lunch and the grocery store, since all we had in the apartment was salt :)

You can't believe how tall the cactus grow in Kenya!

Saturday-
Still in a jet lagged fog and slept until 11:30 am!
Highlight of the day: a trip to the city’s arboretum

Sunday-
Went to church- a lovely church we can walk to where the Kenya director for Food for the Hungry attends

Karen Blixen's Home

Took an uber to Karen Blixen’s home (the author of the memoir that Out of Africa is based on)  We had lunch on part of the property that used to be her coffee plantation. 

Walked to Oloolua Nature Trail that had a waterfall, a few small caves, and a great vine for swinging!  Without sign posts we got very lost, but were thankful for a road nearby and an uber ride back to the apartment. 

Monday-
Kevin’s first day at the FH office and our first day of school.  
There was a family of monkeys we watched in the trees and apartment rooftops across the parking lot from our apartment balcony! 

Seth and Joel made friends with other children in the apartment complex-our little ambassadors :) They were playing a jumping game with a vine Seth pulled down from a tree.

Adjustments:
ALWAYS remember to look right first when crossing the road!  Since they were colonized by the British, they drive on the opposite side of the road. 

Our apartment has a few maintenance issues….today was the first day since we left the US that I’ve had a hot shower….well, at least that helps clear the jet lag fog!

Even though most people speak British English, they do so with a Swahili accent.  Swahili is definitely their heart language, so at times, language can be a barrier to understanding.

2 of the 3 kids have already had a stomach bug- bummer :(

Learning new processes:

A wonderful adjustment is to the price of flowers-

$2 for 18 fresh roses! 

Having to fumigate our bedrooms at night!  We didn’t realize the necessity of this and the first morning Joel and Kyle woke up with over 100 bug bites! 

I still don’t know what to do with our trash??? Plastic bags are banned in Kenya and I couldn’t find anything disposable to buy in the grocery store to hold our trash!

Mpesa- a system of transferring payment instead of using cash- great idea, no idea yet how to use it, or install it on my phone….a task for tomorrow :)